I am still running.

Working hard enough

Love will finally be earned.

Did I complete tasks

asked by voices my own?

Fearful.

Impatient

Aching to go over

the river where sunflowers

grow on either bank.

In the middle, living water

flows in the house of God,

forever. Your love is strong

quiet for my busied mind.

Am I waiting right?

Should I take control again?

I don’t want the responsibility,

continuously trying my patience

with how I cannot wait.

A child counting the days

until December brings flakes

white as first snow.

My need for You to baptize

my mind, outweighs the cure

for pain only sinners know well:

denial for help, since we are

much better solo. I hate admitting

I can’t wait alone, with questions

presented again & again &

again.

I need Your hand wrapped in my right,

Your face before my brows raising worry

if You’ll…

Cerebral Palsy:

I don’t know why I’m writing to you.

No, wait, I do. I want to understand

why I hate you.

The other day, my brother pointed out

how I spelled you wrong.

With a T at the end of Cerebral. At

least I think so.

I don’t want to check. I don’t want to

revisit my mistake.

I covered my ears when he said it.

Much of the time, how I’m trying to

cover up you.

Remember when I was younger, you

carried me

all the way across the living floor, so I

could feel the rush of walking without

aluminum against my back?

These crooked feet, so quickly

contract blisters on the big toes

without support. You take me down

several breaths when that happens.

I walk infinitely slower than I already

think I do. I curse myself for trying

to run or walk as everyone else:…