Starbucks said everything will be okay 

 
Well we made it. I couldn’t sleep so I’ve been exploring downtown Minnesota. The coolest part is we are staying at the Doubletree and there is a skyway to the Mayo Clinic. 

 
  
It’s raining and I’m happy for that. I like the cooler rainy weather! 

I wasn’t going to post but I decided that I needed to share. I had forgotten how much I rely on my WP friends for mind-heart support. Like one big therapy group I mean that in a good way. 

BB is still sound asleep. I’m thankful. Yesterday’s trip wore her out. I plan to walk across that skywalk and find out what the Mayo can do for us @6:45am tomorrow, that’s when she checks in. Wish me luck. Rough day yesterday BB. 😇

Live a little~Live a lot 

  
Live a little~Live a lot  this is hanging on my frig! Made me smile! 😄

A little bit of Ombre in her soul

ombresoul

She had a little bit of Ombre in her soul
Colorful as she is…still an abiding sadness
Why am I so sad she asked me
I have no answer but I know she does
I feel invisible I shared
I feel invisible too
Maybe in the trying for visibility
We miss the ones who see us clearly
Momma I see you
Baby girl I see you too
Oh she said I think I’ll rest now
She had a little bit of Ombre in her soul

 

you are my whole life

urmywholelife

you are my whole life
and you don’t even know it!

Silver Moon & Silver Sea

silvermoonsilversea

Silver Moon & Silver Sea
Hold me as I’m tossed and free
Waiting for the hush and calm
Reminds me of this love so strong
Silver Moon & Silver Sea

Always pieces

There are always pieces of me here and there. I see them in the things you do, how you express yourself, even the things you wear… Expressions of the always pieces of me I hope to impart before something suddenly changes all your pieces and we hardly recognize the life that lies before us.

You asked me not to act happy, and I’m never happy in your suffering. In fact it’s not happiness you sense it’s a wisdom I’ve gained over the years of loving you through the pain of suffering that grows a content spirit…. no matter where I am you are always with me. 

Always pieces of me catch a glimpse of the woman I once was before it all. I missed her a little, just a little today and I know it’s not all about me but just for this moment I need it to be. 

Hard to imagine

  
Hard to imagine… you may never see another sunset with the eyes I’ve loved so long. 

Hard to imagine… when you said mom you look so beautiful today that one day I will grow old and you’ll never see it. 

Hard to imagine… in fact I never imagined any of this I think that’s why I won’t give up and I won’t stop searching and looking for a miracle. 

Hard to imagine… anything but the impossible situation turning around just like that. I believe it will! 

Hard to imagine… anything but wholeness for you no matter how it shows up! 

Hard to imagine 

Who is this angel sent here to save me?

whoisthisangel

Who is this angel sent here to save me
You take me to places I’ve never been
All this longing for beauty untamed
You have broken me open
to welcome 
the hope that you bring
Holy water from my own veins

Love is patient

loveispatient

Love is patient and kind; it is not jealous or conceited or proud; Love is not ill mannered
or selfish or irritable; Love doe not keep a record of wrongs; Love is not happy with evil;
but is happy with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things,
endures all things. 

I needed to remind myself of this today thought I would share it with you. The part that got me was “Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” Sometimes the thing you endure is watching a beloved one suffer in pain and there’s nothing you can do. Add on top of that she’s meaner than a snake, I don’t like meanness of any kind, I tend to shut that person off because I’ve had a lifetime of meanness and at this point in my life I can choose who I associate with, but when it’s my baby girl it’s hard to shut her off because she needs me now.

Last night I did my peddling out thing I do when someone is mean and cruel to me I felt myself doing it. I do it to protect my heart because she has direct access to my heart. Nobody loves like I do when I’m full on loving you without my guard up. So when I change the intensity my love because of hurt she feels it. I think sometimes those I love forget I’m a person too. I’m strong but I can only take so much. Then this morning I had that emergency call from her right when I’m working on this. Interesting how that happens.