This is my Pa, he loved to snow ski, ice skate and he played ice hockey he loved the cold! Autumn and Winter remind me of him so much! 💗❤️💜
Our family is from Finland the cold country!
My Pa
My bro & I standing on the porch~Pa’s cabin
Something changed for my bro that day! I have tried to think what happened to him, what he must have thought the day he dug the hole to bury our Pa. Something changed that day in me and something changed in him. Shortly after this photo was taken he left our family. We all heal in different ways. I have since been in contact with him but very limited. I was thinking of him today as I do every day. I hope and pray he has found peace in his heart. He’s only 14 months younger then me so we grew up together close and he always knows me and I love that. It’s the silence that kills me most I think, it always has….when I love someone and they are silent with me I think all manner of things I may have done to cause the silence….then I realize it’s not about me the silence is all about them and their inability to articulate their pain! I know this! When I am in pain I can’t shut up, I have to share till I feel relief. Thinking about my bro today!
Let you be privy to the Privy~Quote from Pa
“This little place is all we own~and wish to keep it neat~So please be kind with your behind~Don’t S#%t upon the seat”~Pa
Pa’s Hunting Cabin~Man Cave 3
Pa’s Hunting Cabin~Man Cave 2
Passing of the Privy~by my Gpa Art
This is a scan of my GrandPa Art’s poem about the outhouse/privy. Just in case you didn’t know what a privy is….
My Gpa Art would recite poetry and also every kid had a talent to share with the family around the camp fire. My Pa of course sang! Most of my family is musically inclined. But my Gpa was a poet and known for his weaving of words about the simple things.
The Things I didn’t do~by my Pa to my Mom
I don’t want to be your savior
I’ve lived the life I knew
I can’t take back the pain
It’s been certain, not to you
I didn’t rape the wilderness
Or steal the air we breath
I didn’t take God at his word
and So to you I apologize for
The things I didn’t do
And that’s always on my heart
Our children will realize
That said, “I love you ever still.”
Before my Pa passed he told me that the only woman he ever loved was my mother. He left me all his writings, and yesterday I was reading through them and came across this. In his hand writing, stain and torn, so I added the parts that were missing, because I knew my Pa’s heart. He never gave this to my mom, I know it. He was not one to share the deeper things and I am so blessed that he left these pieces of his heart with me so I can share them and somehow know the man I barely knew, but I knew him more then most!
Deposits
Every person we are in close relationship with makes deposits into our lives and we make deposits into their’s. Our parents deposited into our lives, friends deposit into our lives, loved one makes lasting deposits.
I ask you, “Are those good deposits, bad deposits or are they just meaningless deposits?”
I don’t want to waste my time with meaningless deposits. What kind of deposits are you making?
Parents know this, they don’t want other children making bad deposits into their child’s life.
We are known by the company we keep.
Regardless of rather you think it matters or not it does. We respond sometimes out of other’s belief systems, or lack there of, and we don’t realize how we come across.
I realized this when dealing with my Pa’s Alzheimer’s and then his recent death. I saw that my old behavior patterns had followed me through life and when he first showed signs of forgetting and acting strangely I blew it off as his ways of being uncaring.
One day I walked into his room and he said to me, “Oh you look just like my daughter Micki.” I said to him, “Pa it’s me Micki I am your daughter.” He said, “I know I have a daughter named Micki she looks just like you.” Quickly I said to my brother, “Pa is forgetting and we will have to make sure he does this and that.” I was so used to taking care of sick people I guess I didn’t realize how I was responding to him. He said, “Why don’t you ever say I am doing better, your brother always tells me I am doing better, I am going to get out of here, why do you do that?” He was right. I thought about that today and how it changed the way I respond to loved ones and those I care about and I purposed in my heart to believe the best in everyone and look for the good. I thought I was that way and then I realized I am with everyone else except those I am in close relationship with. Because of old hurts, some of them perceived, some legitimate I had my way of responding. Believing the best in people is hard sometimes.
I want to change the deposits I make into those lives I touch. I want them to be MEANINGFUL.
I want to believe the best, even if I’m hurt.
My Pa still continues to teach me daily. April 7 of this year will be three years since he passed. Not a day goes by I don’t think of him.
I pray for that I always believe the best in those I love.
Today will be a great day. I may not get the best out of some but this I know for sure they got the best deposit from me that is possible….tomorrow is another day!
Autumn memories hold you
Autumn memories hold you
Autumn dreams unfold you
Autumn days I miss you
Autumn memories hold you
I am still
MichelleMarie
Tell Me About It 
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